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alylit:

 “Even though we’ve changed and we’re all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we’ll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we’re not all still friends.”

Meeting these guys was a blessing, really. I could say that my high school life was complete because of them. Naaalala ko pa kung paano kami nagsimula.

(Medyo magkukwento muna ako ah.) Second year kami nang mabuo ang grupong CHIZTIX. Nagsimula kami na apat lang ang myembro. Hanggang sa nadagdagan ng nadagdagan at lumaki ang aming pamilya. Nakakatawa kasi yung dating mga nagsasabi na “Ala, hinding hindi ako magiging Chiztix. Etc. Etc” Makikisama rin pala. Haha!

Naging sobrang saya at sobrang gulo ng mga buhay namin dahil sa isa’t isa. Magkakaiba kasi kami ng ugali. Yung tipong extremes talaga. Syempre sa una, kapaan sa ugali. Pero sa paglipas ng mga buwan, mas nakilala namin ang isa’t isa. Naunawaan namin ang isa’t isa. Nakabisado namin ang bawat galaw ng isa’t isa. Yung bawat ngiti, pagtaas ng kilay, pagsimangot, ultimo pag utot at pagbuntong hininga, alam na namin ang ibig sabihin.

Sa maraming taon na pagsasama namin, hindi maiiwasan ang di pagkakaunawaan. Di naman kami perpektong tropa para di magkaaway away. Haha! Syempre, may mga bagay na di namin mapapagkasunduan. Dumating na rin kami sa puntong akala namin di na namin maaayos lahat. Kumbaga, parang sumuko na kami sa isa’t isa. Nauna na yung galit, sama ng loob, at init ng ulo. Pero sa huli, di rin namin matiis ang isa’t isa. Bati bati rin, syempre. Ang hirap kasi sa pakiramdam pag di kami lahat okay. Daig pa namin ang nakipag-away sa jowa. Haha!

These girls are the best!

  • Kasi di namin iniwan ang isa’t isa sa kahit anong aspeto ng buhay. They will always be there even in the darkest times of your life. Sila yung tipo na hindi nangiiwan sa ere. Kapag masaya ang isa, masaya ang lahat. Pag merong problemado, bawat isa handang magisip ng solusyon. Pag may manliligaw sa isa, kailangan lahat ligawan nya muna. Wala samin ang pumapayag na maagrabyado ang isa. Kapag may nang away sa isa, susugudin ng lahat. (Naalala ko nung may napaiyak tayo sa school. HAHA! Mean girls!)
  • Kasi wala silang inuurungang trip. Go lang ng go! Walang arte sa kahit ano. They don’t mind if they look stupid na dahil sa mga ginagawa namin. Kahit na maraming tao ang nakakakita sa mga kawalanghiyaan namin, okay lang. As long as we’re together. Kahit na wa poise na and medyo nakakaturn off sa guys ang trip namin, okay lang.
  • Kasi totoo silang kaibigan. Walang pagpapanggap. What you see is what you get.
  • Kasi tanggap namin ang isa’t isa. Kahit anumang flaws ang meron kami, tanggap yun ng lahat. Buong buo, walang halong pagiimbot. (WAHAHA! Deep tagalog term it is!) Hindi namin hinusgahan ang kahinaan ng bawat isa. Instead, we did our best to understand each other’s attitudes and characters.
  • At syempre, kasi nagawa naming malampasan ang LIMANG taong kasiyahan, kalokohan, kawalanghiyaan, kalungkutan, at tampuhan. Ang saya at sarap sa pakiramdam. After all that we’ve been through, we’re still here. Standing beside each other. Masasabi ko na sa 18 years ng buhay ko, yung 5 years dun na kasama ko sila, yun ang pinakadabest!

HAPPY 5th ANNIVERSARY CHIZTIX! Our friendship is imperfect but the way we manage it makes it perfectly fine. I love you girls! You know that! :* 5 years down, more to go! And in the coming years, we’ll not only be 8. We’ll be 9! WELCOME CYRIL! :) (Double celebration to eh.) Haha!

  • Dun sa mga nagsasabi noon na mabubuwag kami, sorry po, mali kayo.
  • Dun sa mga nagtatanong kung buhay pa ba ang CHIZTIX, eto kami oh! Nadagdagan pa ng isa. Buhay na buhay pa at nagcecelebrate ng anniversary.
  • Sa mga taong naging parte ng buhay ng CHIZTIX, SALAMAT po!

Again, HAPPY 5 YEARS CHIZTIX!

fourteenforthewin:

Here I am again trying to write a blog post. It’s 1:38am and the feeling hasn’t gone any better. The pain hasn’t healed. Only time will tell how long I am gonna feel this pain. I miss this boy too much and it still hasn’t sinked in. It’s been 3 weeks since he passed away and I am STILL in denial. I am still expecting that one day, I will be waking up beside him. His angelic face would be the first thing I would see when I wake up. I would finally hear his loud snore again. His legs are all crunched up on mine, and his arms are wrapped around me and we’ll be sleeping tight under one blanket. I am still hoping that one day, everything will go back to the way it was.

I can’t believe I am handling all this pain. The man whom I’ve planned my entire lifetime with is now gone forever. The man who made my dreams come true. The man who made me believe that TRUE LOVE is not just seen in the movies.

Every time I remember the moment I saw him lifeless, pale and cold, I feel so crushed inside. It feels like every fucking part of my body is being teared up. The moment I saw him, I burst out into tears. I hugged him and kissed him one last time. I never imagined him like this. I never wanted him to be in that place because I never wanted him to get hurt in any way. Even if I saw him in that state already, I was still hoping and praying that he’s heart would beat again and a miracle would happen. Call me crazy, but this is how much I long for him. This is how much I need him in my life. I am not ready to lose him. I never was.

I love him so much. I will NEVER EVER forget him. He will always be inside my heart. Nothing and no one could ever take away. Not even TIME nor DISTANCE could change and lessen how much I feel for him. I WILL LOVE HIM FOREVER.

He loved me until his LAST BREATH, I promise him that I will do the same.

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