Now Playing Tracks

fourteenforthewin: Here I am again trying to write a blog post. It’s 1:38am and the feeling hasn’t gone any better. The pain hasn’t healed. Only time will tell how long I am gonna feel this pain. I miss this boy too much and it still hasn’t sinked in. It’s been 3 weeks since he passed away and I am STILL in denial. I am still expecting that one day, I will be waking up beside him. His angelic face would be the first thing I would see when I wake up. I would finally hear his loud snore again. His legs are all crunched up on mine, and his arms are wrapped around me and we’ll be sleeping tight under one blanket. I am still hoping that one day, everything will go back to the way it was. I can’t believe I am handling all this pain. The man whom I’ve planned my entire lifetime with is now gone forever. The man who made my dreams come true. The man who made me believe that TRUE LOVE is not just seen in the movies. Every time I remember the moment I saw him lifeless, pale and cold, I feel so crushed inside. It feels like every fucking part of my body is being teared up. The moment I saw him, I burst out into tears. I hugged him and kissed him one last time. I never imagined him like this. I never wanted him to be in that place because I never wanted him to get hurt in any way. Even if I saw him in that state already, I was still hoping and praying that he’s heart would beat again and a miracle would happen. Call me crazy, but this is how much I long for him. This is how much I need him in my life. I am not ready to lose him. I never was. I love him so much. I will NEVER EVER forget him. He will always be inside my heart. Nothing and no one could ever take away. Not even TIME nor DISTANCE could change and lessen how much I feel for him. I WILL LOVE HIM FOREVER. He loved me until his LAST BREATH, I promise him that I will do the same.
Zoom

fourteenforthewin:

Here I am again trying to write a blog post. It’s 1:38am and the feeling hasn’t gone any better. The pain hasn’t healed. Only time will tell how long I am gonna feel this pain. I miss this boy too much and it still hasn’t sinked in. It’s been 3 weeks since he passed away and I am STILL in denial. I am still expecting that one day, I will be waking up beside him. His angelic face would be the first thing I would see when I wake up. I would finally hear his loud snore again. His legs are all crunched up on mine, and his arms are wrapped around me and we’ll be sleeping tight under one blanket. I am still hoping that one day, everything will go back to the way it was.

I can’t believe I am handling all this pain. The man whom I’ve planned my entire lifetime with is now gone forever. The man who made my dreams come true. The man who made me believe that TRUE LOVE is not just seen in the movies.

Every time I remember the moment I saw him lifeless, pale and cold, I feel so crushed inside. It feels like every fucking part of my body is being teared up. The moment I saw him, I burst out into tears. I hugged him and kissed him one last time. I never imagined him like this. I never wanted him to be in that place because I never wanted him to get hurt in any way. Even if I saw him in that state already, I was still hoping and praying that he’s heart would beat again and a miracle would happen. Call me crazy, but this is how much I long for him. This is how much I need him in my life. I am not ready to lose him. I never was.

I love him so much. I will NEVER EVER forget him. He will always be inside my heart. Nothing and no one could ever take away. Not even TIME nor DISTANCE could change and lessen how much I feel for him. I WILL LOVE HIM FOREVER.

He loved me until his LAST BREATH, I promise him that I will do the same.

To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union